Wednesday, August 5, 2009

"But I wanted to be at his birthday party!"

Those are the sweet simple words that my 3 year old Ava said this morning after I said, "Do you know who's birthday is today, Ethan's" It instantly brought tears to my eyes and Dave's. It was so sweet and innocent. She misses him so much, we all do. Today would have been my Ethan's 5th birthday. It's been less than 2 months since our Ethan went to heaven, but I must say this is one of the toughest days yet. You never think about planning a birthday without your child.....one should never have to, but we never know what life has in store for us so that is why it is so important to cherrish each and everyday. I want to share a photo today of our family that we had taken. It is a beautiful picture that captures all of us so well. Ethan got to see this picture as it arrived on Thursday, June 11, the day before Ethan died. He really liked it and Dave had it up on the wall that very day! I was pregnant in that picture with our baby so this will definitely be a picture that we will treasure forever!

To celebrate today we are going to release balloons in Ethan's honor. Ava loves to send up balloons with a message to her brother. This is going to be a hard day for her too. It's so hard for her to understand why her best friend and brother had to leave her so soon. She was a great little sister and is going to be a great big sister in the coming months.

Hope all of you go and hug your little ones. Ethan loved his hugs and especially his kisses. I can picture him right now coming up to me with his puckered up lips wanting a kiss.....whether it be supper time, bath time, "potty" time, bedtime, whatever the occasion Ethan was always ready for a kiss from his Mama. I love him so much and miss him more than words can say!

Here's a link to one of the best videos ever! Heros have always been cowboys!


10 comments:

Beth said...

Thinking of you today. May God comfort you and your family. God Bless!

Denise ~ Paper Ponderings said...

Saying prayers for you today and shedding some tears just because I'm a mom.

Anki said...

Thinking of you and your sweet family. This is something that no one ever should experience. We will be sending a balloon to Ethan from us in Sweden today for his b'day. Warm hugs to you and I do exactly know what you mean about Ethan loving his kisses and hugs from his Mama. Isac loves his too (he turned 3 mid July). Anki

Tracey Cuccia said...

You are heavy on my mind and in my heart today Alicia...{{{HUGS}}} from across the way for you, Dave and Ava...Thanks for sharing that beautiful photo of your family, I can see how it will be forever cherished.

MEL said...

I know it's a really tough day for you. As a mother myself I feel your pain but I know it's nothing at all compared to what you are going through. I wish with all my heart your little boy could still be with you. Stay strong!

Happy Birthday Ethan!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hopefully with time peace will come to you. I just wish I could understand the reasoning behind the taking of your sweet little boy. That is one great family picture, it captured all of you beautifully. Thoughts and prayers are with you. Sandy

Odette said...

Oh dear Alicia!
As a mother I can understand every little word you type in this post. I know it's so hard!! I can't imagine my life without my sweet babies; but you know and I know that our little Ethan is in Heaven with GOD!! and that is very comforting. I am so glad that my little baby card has inspired you.
Love and hugs to you all!! and God bless you always!!

judy anderson said...

Dear Ava,
Let's plan a party for Ethan next year. Gifts will be a donation to Make A Wish. Cake Ice cream and lots of balloons along with videos of him.

Debbie said...

What a precious picture with all of you in it. Certainly a treasure. You are so brave to write about all you are going through. Hope that it is helping you. Saying prayers for your family and your precious angel.

Melissa said...

I'm so so sorry for your loss! I'm sure it was very difficult day. I think about you often although I don't know you, and it definitely reminds me to not dwell on the little things with my kids, rather to enjoy them and my moments with them. (((((HUGS))))