Saturday, June 20, 2009

Back to say THANK YOU!

Well, it's been just a week since we lost our little boy Ethan, but it seems like an eternity since I've held him in my arms and kissed his sweet little face. It's been an emotional week of ups and downs, but all in all I think we are all doing very well. We got to see so many people at Ethan's visitation and the place was just filled with balloons. There were over 80 bunches of balloons and we let most of them go afterwards so Ava was able to take part and say a special message to her Ethan. She misses him so very much. Tuesday was Ethan's service and it was just perfect. The sermon was so personable and it just made us reflect on how special our little boy was and still is to us. we let balloons go at the cemetary too. Ava has been such a trooper through all of this and talks about Ethan everyday. Here are some wonderful things that Ava thinks of when she talks about Ethan.

"Mommy, does Ethan have a pool up in heaven?"
"Mommy, is GOD holding Ethan?"
"Ethan just jumped into his pool in the clouds....Mommy, is it raining?"
"Mommy, does GOD have a car, what color is it?"
"Mommy, what color house does GOD have?"
"Mommy, I miss my Ethan"
"Is Ethan going to be here for his birthday?"

She misses him so, but we have tried to explain how he is up in heaven now with GOD and is all better. We have a ton of home videos and so many pictures to keep the memories of him alive forever.

Here is the picture that we chose to put in the paper and also on his card at the funeral home. It showed Ethan with his perfect smile riding his horse, an activity that he loved so well. We chose the Cowboy Rodeo Prayer as we thought this was very fitting for our Ethan. He loved to go to the rodeo and we took a family vacation to Texas at the end of February and it was all about our cowboy. Ethan loved going to rodeos so this seemed so fitting.

In Loving Memory of Our Cowboy Ethan

From the Cowboy's Rodeo Prayer:

Our gracious and heavenly Father.....

When we take the last ride,

That we know is inevitable,

To the country up there-

Where the grass is green and lush

and stirrup high,

And the water runs clean and clear;

We pray that you will tell us,

as our last judge,

That our entry fees are paid.

We ask this in Christ's name.

Thank you so much to all the wonderful bloggers that have left such kind messages to our family. We appreciate all of the prayers coming our way. A big thank you to Lauren's DT team that has started a fund for Ethan's memorial and sent balloons for Ethan too. Lauren has another surprise too that she'll reveal in a few short days just made my day. These girls are the best. Here's a link to all of their blogs:













Hopefully I will get back to my stamping soon. Until then......Happy Stampin! Alicia


Lauren (mytime) said...

Oh Alicia your words bring tears to my eyes once again! That was beautiful! I lvoed that photo. You are my hero! So full of strength and faith I bet you never knew the depths of! God definitely has his hand on you. I'll be thinking of Dave tomorrow too. One second at a time. Hugs to you all. I so hope we get to meet face to face someday!

Tiffany Apple said...

You are truely an inspiration. Your strength and courage through this is remarkable.I have followed your son's story since Lauren posted about your family on her blog.Your Ethan reminded me so much of my own boys.I feel sorry for your husband when your Ava gets big!She's beautiful!I look forward to reading your blog when you get back.Take care!

MEL said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MEL said...

Your family is in my heart and in my prayers. God Bless You!

Maria Levine said...

Alicia your fabulous strength is truly an inspiration. I had to leave after reading this beautiful post and come back to leave a message. I have been thinking of you, your family and of course Ethan all week. Continue to be strong,take it one day at a time.
BIG HUGS and prayers!

God bless!

Odette said...

Dear Alicia, tears are rolling down my face as I read this post. God must be with you, giving you that strength, for only He can do that after such loss. His arms are around you and your family, and little angel Ethan is watching you all from heaven.
Hugs to you all!!

Judi said...

We have never met, and I don't even remember how I came across your blog, but I have followed your stories of Ethan for several months now. I was devastated to hear of your loss ( I am crying uncontrollably right now), and truly amazed at your strength.
Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Judi- SU demo from Uxbridge, MA.

Donna Baker said...

what a sweet poem-I love the picture of Ethan you shared. I'm sure it is so hard for his sister and she will always remember him. You've been in my thoughts all week. Lauren and the DT are wonderful to do what they did, can't wait to see what the other thing is now.

lmangan said...

We continue to pray for your family and beloved cowboy Ethan. Your faith and strength are absolutely amazing. May God continue to bless your entire family and lift you up today and always.

Wendi said...

I'm so sad to hear about your sweet little boy. I have been praying for him since I first visited your sight months ago. Although I do not know any of you, I feel like I do. Please know you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers and this news just breaks my heart. God's blessing to you all right now. Hold tight to the ones close to you.

Priscilla Heistad said...

I am still praying for your family as you continue life's journey. I have no explanation, but God is sovereign. You will be on my prayer list for the weeks and months to come.

Dawn Easton said...

(((Alicia))) I wanted to stop by to say hello and let you know I'm thinking of you all. You are amazingly strong and what you wrote above is perfect. Little Ava sounds like such a sweetheart too!
Big hugs to you all!

Leslie Caponey said...

Your family is in my prayers. God will get you through this. I pray for your peace and strength in these days to come.

Vicki said...

Dear Alicia, I am so glad you are taking things one day at a time. Your strength is incredible and your faith is as well. You are an ispiration to us all. God Bless you and your family Alicia.

Lisa (lakind) said...

What a gracious post, Alicia! You are truly a pillar of strength. Poor little Ava who does not really understand what has happened. Her best friend just taken from her. I think of you often and look forward to this new project Lauren has in the works! God bless you and your family. Just remember that although you will never forget the pain you are going through, time heals all wounds.
{{{hugs}}} to all!


Stampingcaz said...

I can bearly see to type, I can not imagine the pain you have been through. I have 2 little boys, they are my life.

Your pictures are wonderful. Your little cowboy will be with you allways. I cam to you via treasure oilers feed. Those digi images are adorable, I will be buying them for the foundation.


Paula Barin said...

My condolences. I follow your blog and just learned this morning that Ethan is with God. The poem is a wonderful tribute to your son.
May you be blessed with wonderful memories of Ethan and may God help ease the heartache.

beth said...

May God Comfort you during this difficult time. Our prayers are with you.

Heather said...


I have done pleanty of crying while reading your posts, caring bridge posts, going to vote for the Favorite Pet, and now the Pink Cat Studio Images!!!

I wanted you to know I also copied the images on Lauren, Kristin, and MacKenzies post and posted about them and offered to Melissa over at Pink Cat to host a challenge with Prizes from me of Pink Cat Studio stamps!!!

This is a cause near and dear to my heart as our family fell in love with Ethan too reading your post over the last year or so!!!

I am so so proud of you that you seem so at peace with this and you are keeping it such a positive thing and even now typing this I have tears streaming down my face because as a mother I can not imagine what you are going through!!!

I am sure Sonador and God are having a blast with little Ethan right now!!!

Thank you my Stamping Friend for your story, your outlook, and for sharing your sweet family with all of us!!!

Heather Schlatter

Michelle said...

I have stubled onto your blog via Pink Cat Studio. I don't know what to say to you aprt from send you my deepest and heartfelt sympathy. I can bearly type through the tears, you and your family are so brave. Thinking of you and yours
Lots of hugs from Scotland

Heather said...


I thought the least I could do is join in the great fundraiser for Ethan/Make a Wish over at Pink Cat Studio!!!

I am offering up a Prize of 1 Pink Cat Studio set of their choice if they
1. Buy the images to help Make a Wish
2. Post a link to the Fundraiser
3. They can earn more RAK Pink Cat images from me if they make a Card with the images and Post about the Fundraiser again by June 27th

I hope this helps Make a Wish in Ethans Honor!!!

Heather Schlatter

Debbie said...

Alicia, what a wonderful tribute to Ethan and your whole family. God bless you all and give you peace and strength. My thoughts and prayers continue for all of you. I hope faith and the love and prayers of your family and friends, and caring thoughts from those of us who have never met you personally but have shared Ethan's journey with you, help you in some way.

Kerry said...

This is the first time I have read your blog, I came to it via Dawn's. I was so sorry to read about your son, I lost my son (aged 5) to a brain tumour 12 years ago, so I know what you are going through. My heart goes out to you because the road ahead is hard. You will come through, you never get over the loss but you do get used to it. We talk of our son often and keep him alive in our memory. You probably have good support through your friends and family and your faith but if ever you feel the need to talk to someone who has been through it, I am just at the end of an email.My thoughts are with you and your family at this very difficult time.

Leanne said...

Big hugs to you, Ava, and your hubby. So sorry to hear about Ethan. There are just no words...
Thinking of you,

Anonymous said...

my heavens, my heart just breaks for you. Your courage and faith are tremendous. I admire you so much. Just know that we who read your blog wish we could physically put our arms around you and hug the hurt away. I cannot imagine how empty you must feel without your cute little cowboy. Isn't it comforting though to know that he's in such wonderful company? I pray that you will feel our love for you and your family.


i {heart} papers said...

So incredibly sorry for your loss. What a treasure he was. Take good care of Ava...she needs you now more than you know.

Linda said...

Alicia ~ I came across your blog through Maria's. I'm so sorry to hear about Ethan. Your faith in God, and knowing that Ethan is with our Heavenly Father, will help you through the difficult days to come. Love and Aloha, Linda

The Paper Artists' Boutique said...

Oh, I have a precious boy and your words about not being able to hold him and kiss his sweet face, just stuck me. I am sure God will carry you through the days, months and years to follow, that's just His nature. Many blessings Sherry

Marjanne said...

just don't know what to say. I feel so sorry for you.

manicstamper said...

I came to your blog through Thinking Inking and I couldn't leave without saying just how terribly sorry I am for your loss.
My thoughts are with you.

Kristin Bueter said...


Your heartfelt posts always bring tears to my eyes. I wish I could have met sweet Ethan before the Lord called him home. He was such a ray of light in the photos you shared. It’s comforting to think that beautiful spirit is gracing Heaven with his spunk and humor :O)

I love the innocence of children and Ava is a perfect example. Looking out for her brother’s interests while he’s swimming in Heaven with the Lord :O) Little does she know he’s her new guardian angel…

Thank you for sharing the service and visitation details with us. I would have loved to have been there to see all those balloons and listen to the fitting tribute to your little guy.

Keep kissing your sweet Ava…I’m sure Ethan is right there with his arm around her :)

God bless, my friend. I’m still praying for you and your loving family.


redstamper7 said...

God bless you and your family during your grief. My husband passed from cancer last June at the age of 44 and I can only being to imagine your pain. Your words seem so familiar and I will keep you in my prayers. Your son is no longer in pain but in the glory of the Lord. I wish you peace for the days ahead.

Becky T

~*Joni said...

Hi Alicia, this is my first time here at your blog but I wanted to let you know that I have already connected to you as a mom. I love the posts and pictures of Eva and Ethan, they are indeed precious moments that I know will fill your heart forever.
My condolensces go out to you and your family, I am sure this time is really delicate and in need of some quiet reflection. I see from your work that you are an incredible artist and crafter, and I know that is a talent that will never cease!
I have already purchased the Pink Cat Studio set in Ethan's honor. The Make A Wish foundation holds a special place in our lives as well, our DD was diagnosed 2 and a half years ago with retinoblastoma (cancer of the eye) and they fulfilled her wish of going to Disney World. She will be 5 next month and has adjusted to her prosthetic eye and questions that kids ask her at the playground.
Take care of yourself and know that what you've done here has made Ethan an even more enjoyable little presence in Heaven.

Leslie said...

Praying your you today:)

Jen said...

Alicia, God Bless you and your family. Ethan is in peace, and with our Lord now, and is being held in our Lord's arm. What a strong lil' boy he was, and now he will be able to spend eternal life with our Lord, and help decorate Heaven with his paint brush and beautiful personality. Smilin' down at his mommy n' daddy, and keeping an eye out on his sis.... and waiting for the day that you will all be together again.

With Loving Hugs,

Anonymous said...

Ethan was blessed to have such a wonderful family -- my prayers are with you and your family. Sandy in VA

carole (TruCarMa) said...

Oh, Alicia -- I can't believe I'm reading this. My sweet friend, words cannot express my sorrow and how much I am thinking of you and holding you in my heart. Your entire family is in my thoughts and prayers, and I know sweet Ethan is riding high in his saddle, watching you from above, always. {{{{{Alicia}}}}}

Katie Ann Brooks said...

This breaks my heart! I am so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine! You seem to be so strong and doing OK and I comment you for that. For all those times that you aren't, those moments that are hard, please know that I am thinking of you. Hugs from the bottom of my heart. ~Katie

CindyC said...

I've been following your blog for a while, and was dreading reading the inevitable. When I read your blog the other night, I cried myself to sleep. How unfair it all seems. I have 2 boys ages 6 & 4. Please know that there are so many people praying for you to stay strong.

Ink, paper and BLING! said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I am touched at the wonderful tribute you have wrote, and wish I could send you a hug, and a house of balloons. You have illustrated so well via the caring bridge your labour of love, being a mother. I know you did everything you could to make Ethans life remarkable however short it had to be. I will continue to pray for your family and Ethan. I am crying uncontrolably, and wishing that all my tears could save you from crying any more.
May god bless your home and help your heart to heal.

Renee V. said...

Tears are rolling down my cheeks as well. I've been thinking and praying for you and your family.
Hugs and love,

Julie Koerber said...

Reading your post about your beautiful son, I can hear the strength in your voice. It's amazing and admirable. I can't even imagine how your family feels right now losing that bright ray of light but you can be sure I will be praying for you.
God Bless,

Anonymous said...

Alicia and family,

I pray for your strength to continue and the love you share, to hold you in your quiet moments.
Hugs to Ava and your husband too.
Blessings to you all........

Leah said...

Prayers to you and your family...may you feel God's loving embrace through this very difficult time.

Anki said...

Tears keep on falling as I read about your sweet family and your lovely little man. He will continue to touch lives even now when he is among the angels in heaven. It's also so nice to read Ava's questions. Kids are so precious and wonderful. I wish there was something I could do for you, but I don't have any words - I can only imagine how hard the loss is. You are in my prayers and keep on talking about him. Love the photos you have and I can tell - without knowing him - what a sweet, lovely and fun boy he was. Your strenght is amazing, but remember - it's fine if you are not feeling strong. God will be there and carry you and the rest of your family through this. Warm hugs from Sweden - Anki

Nancy L. said...

I really don't have any words to say! But just wanted to let you know that your Cowboy was truly a handsome little boy and I'm sure you know that you are blessed to had been his Mommy, forever!! You and your family our in our prayers. We also have a little cowboy in our family!