Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Merry Christmas




Just wanted to pop by and say Merry Christmas! This was our picture last year visiting Santa. Oh how I miss that little boy. The picture below is what I had for my Christmas cards this year and I worked very hard coming up with a design and I kept trying to tweek it and finally figured out what was missing. It wasn't a ribbon, button, or some bling, it was my little boy. Not many have to go through what we have in the past year and I hope and pray noone else ever does, but it hasn't been easy. Christmas just isn't the same this year. We have everything up, our tree, stockings, and I even had everything bought for my cards, but I just couldn't bring myself to get them made.
I tell you what you miss when you lose a child, it's the everyday things and the big things. I remember at Christmas the kids would come to the top of the steps and wait as I went to get my camera to take their picture as they came down to look in their stocking. I remember Ethan putting the coookies on the platter for Santa last year. I remember playing air hockey most of the morning when there were still a ton of unwrapped presents under the tree. I remember Ethan being thrilled with his new tool bench and Ava being so excited about her new vanity. We even had a puppet show with the kids and Daddy. Santa even found a donkey and a horse puppet. All of this is just a memory now and it still seems so strange and surreal that Ethan isn't here. We are very blessed and so fortunate to have our baby Kale and Ava here, but there is always going to be something missing! That something is my little boy, Ethan. Oh how he could light up a room with his big smile.

For those of you out there worried about the cooking, shopping, wrapping presents, and sending cards.....remember what the true meaning of Christmas is. We have had so much taken away this year and so much given that it is hard to balance our grief ridden hearts with the blessings that we have had too. To all of you....thanks for dropping by and I hope you have a very Merry and Blessed Christmas this year!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Alicia,
I just had to say hello from the other side of the world.My heart goes out to you at this time of the year.My belief is that Ethan will always be with you just in another demention where you can't see him.I bet that when you close your eyes he comes to you.This will always be the case.Its a time of thanks giving ....we all give thanks for what we have.
Blessings to you and your family.
Christine

judy anderson said...

You take the most incredible pictures showing love. It is so difficult to lose someone so young. May you comfort in your memories and sharing.

Nicole said...

Thank you once again for opening my eyes and my heart. You are in my thoughts, especially this Christmas.
Blessings and happiness to you and your family,
Nicole

Kathie Tice said...

Alicia,
My heart breaks for you and your family. I hope you can have a happy and blessed Christmas with baby Kale and Ava, in spite of the tragedy you have experienced this past year. Your children are beautiful. Merry Christmas to you all.
Kathie

michib2006 said...

Alicia,
My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose a child. Knowing that he is smiling down on you and your family and his new little brother. Thank you for reminding me the true meaning of Christmas ~ family.

Michele

BEth said...

Thinking of you and your family. I know that there is a lot of heartache, but also a lot of joy during these holidays. I pray that God will comfort youand your family during the holidays.
God Bless! Merry Christmas!

artfulwhimsies said...

What a poignant post. My heart is heavy for your family this year. Please take care and know that you are not alone. Prayers for Ethan up in heaven. He will be with you this Christmas and always....

Lisa Kind said...

I don't even know how to respond, Alicia, after reading this. But I do know that those memories are precious and you have to make room for new ones with Ava and Kale. Ethan was a special little boy and will be in your hearts forever. My heart goes out to you and your family at this difficult time. Those pictures are so beautiful of your precious children! God bless you!

Charlie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Charlie said...

Another Hello from Denmark. Lovely photo of your two youngest - I'm sure Ethan is one proud big brother pointing down from above saying these two are MY SISTER AND BABY BROTHER. Bless you and your family for doing so well in difficult times and thank you for sharing your thoughts and lovely photo of your sweet boy too. Wishing you a happy 2010 with your family here on earth and that special little star above!!

Tracey Cuccia said...

Alicia --

I wish I could think of something profound to say...but all that comes to me is to send you a big {{HUG}}. Thank you for sharing these beautiful pictures of you beautiful children...

Emily Leiphart said...

Alicia, thanks for sharing your memories of Ethan. Your post really touched my heart and I'm happy you and your family had a wonderful Christmas!

MacKenzie said...

Sending hugs to you and your family. I've cried many tears for you. I hope you can find some comfort in the many wonderful memories that you made with Ethan.